“I am usually someone who just gets on with things, but I suddenly couldn’t”

Having never experienced panic attacks or anxiety before, I didn’t know what was going on and I wasn’t sure what caused the sudden change in me.

I have had colleagues who had suffered with anxiety and have opened up to me in previous years about their experiences, and I wondered if the same was happening to me. To be honest, I’m still not quite sure what happened that winter, but I truly believe that there is real power in talking to a stranger.

Bubbling up

I can recall the exact day it happened. I was going about my daily chores quite happily, but by midday, I had to lay down. I became fearful, I was crying and I felt as though I was suffocating. I am usually someone who just gets on with things, but I suddenly couldn’t.Nothing catastrophic had happened. In retrospect, I realise that a long list of things that could go wrong, unfortunately did.

I talked to family, as well as one or two trusted friends over the few weeks that proceeded, but nothing seemed to help. A worried family member suggested I call a helpline. However, having already regurgitated things repeatedly, I questioned how this could help.

Naivety was nearly my downfall, because, as it happened, talking to a complete stranger was just what I needed.

I dialled the number and told the call handler on the other end everything. As I thought about each situation before I spoke, I actually heard myself talking. I then remember being taken aback when the call handler asked if I was suicidal.

Following that call, a weight lifted, and I began to feel better in the 24 hours that followed. I couldn’t quite believe the turnaround. I wished I had called the helpline sooner.

As I began to feel better, I reflected upon whether those previous colleagues had gained any solace from simply talking to me. Only then did remember that the AOP’s Peer Support Line (PSL) existed.

Calling the PSL… could mean the difference between suffering in silence and feeling empowered

A listening ear

I made enquiries and applied to become a PSL volunteer in early 2024. After initial training, I joined the most incredible group of volunteers that April.

One aspect of the training which stands out for me is how we adhere to such strict levels of confidentiality – we are not permitted to repeat stories as our caller could potentially be identified.

Many callers are pre-registration optometrists. Thankfully we have a dedicated pre-registration volunteer team who can help and support too. Pre-registration optometrists seem to be under such inordinate pressure – whether it be inadequate testing times, exam pressure or bullying. The high call frequency from this cohort of professionals concerns me as they are the future of the profession.

Work and family pressures are also commonly shared concerns amongst callers. However, the primary driver behind the majority of calls to the PSL tends to be professional isolation.

I’ve often thought how useful the PSL service would have been to me during my earlier years of qualification when, without social media, professional isolation was really palpable.

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“I am so privileged to volunteer for the Peer Support Line”

Ziggy Shah explains how his role has changed throughout the pandemic

The PSL service has experienced increased calls over the past years, and the trajectory sadly continues. As the profession grows, problems will undoubtedly grow too. I foresee shorter testing times and lunch breaks, increased sales pressure and working hours, and more, (avoidable) fitness to practise referrals.

Calling the PSL, which is a free phone service that is available to those across the whole of the practice team, could mean the difference between suffering in silence and feeling empowered.

The listening service is open between 8am to 8pm. We don’t offer advice, but we will listen and will signpost if appropriate.

I have shared my own story anonymously so that potential callers might feel encouraged that I and the team have likely “been there” and want to support those who are standing where we once were. No one should feel intimidated or worried about accessing the PSL.

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“Nobody else matters, only the next caller”

The Peer Support Line provides a confidential support service to help optometry professionals